The Sorting Hat's Dilemma
by RocketBabyDolls
Summary: Because the sorting of a mister Harry James Potter didn't go exactly as planned...


Title: The Sorting Hat's Dilemma

Author: SylarsBitch

Summary: The Sorting Hat finds itself in a rather unusual position during Harry Potter's sorting.

Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter

Harry nervously tugged on the end of his robs. He heard Hermione Granger state helpful hints from 'Hogwarts: A History' to anyone in earshot. That person, unfortunately, seemed to be Neville Longbottom-who still had his collar tucked behind one of his ears.

The redheaded boy, Ron Weasley, was telling Harry what his older brother's had told him about the sorting ceremony. Something involving a troll? Harry's stomach lurched. He didn't even know any real spells! He would look a fool, and most likely end in Hufflepuff.

Then, to his and the other first year's surprise, a hat was placed on a small wooden stool. Harry, and many anxious first years, watched the dusty old hat expectantly. It then sang.

Once the song had finished, name's were called out and student's were placed appropriately. Harry heard Professor McGonagal (as she had introduced herself) shout names alphabetically. He heard several P's and then-"Potter, Harry!"

Harry walked slowly, and warily, up the few stairs, still afraid that he would embarrass himself. He placed the hat on his head, ignoring the not-so-quiet whispers of the rest of the students.

'_Ah, Harry Potter. A difficult one to sort. You have wit, ambition and a thirst to prove yourself.'_

Harry panicked. Those sounded like the traits of a Slytherin. The house of Voldemort and Draco Malfoy.

'_Not Slytherin? Are you sure? It's all here, in your head.'_

"If you really think so." Said Harry.

'_Indeed. SLYTH-'_

"Actually." Began Harry slowly. "I'm thinking Hufflepuff. What d'you think?"

'_If you insist. HUFFLE-'_

"Woah, woah. Slow down." Harry realized that the hat was taking his choice into account. He could pick whatever house he wanted!

'_No, no! That's not how it works!' _The Sorting Hat protested quickly.

"But with a healthy bit of persuasion, people could go wherever they want! Wait, that means it doesn't even matter what we're like as a person, you just pick what sounds nicest for us? You sing some ridiculous song about-"

'_Too far!' _The hat boomed in Harry's ear. _'Listen, kid, I spend 364 days a year working out this song and one measly day singing it. You will appreciate the song!'_

"But what about the sorting?" Harry huffed.

'_Err…' _The Sorting Hat, it appeared, was at a loss for words.

"I quite fancy Ravenclaw." Harry said proudly.

'_But-what?! You can't choose!' _The hat spluttered.

"Ah, but I know how to cheat a house out of you. It would be quite a scandal if everyone found out."

'_That's blackmail! SLYTH-' _

"Nah. What about Ravenclaw? I've always thought blue was my colour." Harry smirked.

'_Aha! A smirk! A clear Slytherin, I'd say. SLYTH-'_

"I thought we'd discussed this!" Harry complained. "Ravenclaw! Or aren't I witty enough?"

'_Fine. RAVEN-'_

"However." Harry said thoughtfully. "You might be right about Ravenclaw. Hufflepuff would be a nice change, though. I could raise me a small army!"

The hat grumbled, _'Honestly. Kids these days. Fair enough, HUFFLE-'_

"On second thought-"

'_Arghh just make the damn decision! McGonagall's getting touchy!'_

Harry glanced at the Transfiguration professor who was eying Harry with a look of immense frustration and curiosity. As was the rest of the Great Hall.

'_Hey,' _The Sorting Hat whispered, _'I hear Gryffindor have triple chocolate fudge cakes especially for the feast.'_

"They do?" Asked Harry eagerly. This certainly changed things.

'_Oh yes. I see your decision is made. GRYFFINDOR!'_

Several people in the hall clapped, and a few giggled nervously. Harry Potter sat next to Ron and awaited his triple chocolate fudge cake. It never came.

That day Harry Potter vowed revenge on the Sorting Hat (despite the year it saved his life) and for the first time, Hogwarts heard the Sorting Hat laugh in an evil hat-like way.

_**THE END**_

_Tres random...I just always wondered =P R&R if you liked...or not I'm not fussed!_

_-E_


End file.
